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Turning to Dad
Dr. James Herzog, child psychologist suggests that “Between the ages
of 14 and 17 months, a boy's need to identify with his male parent
intensifies. He will often seek closer contact with his father and turn
to him rather than to his mother for emotional refueling. A girl of this
age is also likely to turn to her father, increasing her efforts to show
him how to relate to her. What this suggests is that for each sex, a
father's presence is important as a way of defining their masculinity or
femininity.” so a father who is open to learning and taking cues from
his child can learn and teach a lot.
Important as the father's role is, it doesn't exist in a vacuum. The way
that a man relates to his son or daughter reflects the way in which he
relates to his wife. The ongoing strength and intimacy of the parental
relationship, which includes an ability to manage emotions like love,
hate, and hurt feelings, allows a man to participate in the rearing of
his children in a meaningful way. And clearly, this is to the children's
advantage. When a father is committed to continual, holistic growth as
an individual, to nurturing himself and being satisfied with his journey
in the world, he has a great deal to give to his children.
© Barbara King 1998
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