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Children and stress
Preteens and adolescents under stress may feel angry longer, feel
disillusioned, lack self-esteem, and generally distrust everything.
Sometimes they will show extreme behaviors ranging from doing
everything they are asked to rebelling and breaking all of the
rules, and taking part in high-risk behaviors. Depression and
suicidal tendencies are concerns.
Children can cope with stress through tears or tantrums or by
retreating from unpleasant situations. They could be masterful at
considering options, finding compromise solutions, or finding
substitute comfort. Usually a young child's thinking is not fully
developed enough to think of options or think about the results of
possible actions.
When parents provide supportive environments our children can
develop a range of coping strategies and become more resilient.
Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from stress and crisis.
According to Herbert G. Lingren, Family Scientist, some of the
factors that support children and create a safety net include:
- A healthy relationship with at least one parent or close
adult.
- Well-developed social skills.
- Well-developed problem-solving skills.
- The Ability to act independently
- A sense of positive self-esteem and personal responsibility.
- Religious commitment.
- Ability to focus attention.
- Special interests and hobbies.
Lingren suggests: We can make sure we don't add to children's
stress by expecting them to act in adult ways. We can praise, be
positive, seek positive solutions, help children name their
feelings, teach fairness, help children learn to like themselves, be
patient, teach honesty and give lots of love and encouragement,
particularly during difficult times.
January 1999 |
