|
EVERYONE’S MORAL RESPONSIBILITY
by Tonya Godding, Parent
It is appalling to me that people in areas of influence in
Society, impacting upon our mass media, are not fully aware of the
extent to which the media affects our children. They are also not
privy to research conducted in this field, be it local or otherwise.
As a mother of young children who has opted to stay at home to raise
them, I used this opportunity to gather as much Literature as
possible to assist me in one of the most important jobs I have ever
encountered, that of MOTHERHOOD. I have also solicited loads of
advice from parents whose children I admire and everywhere, the
advice has been much the same, to inculcate your children in the
values and morals you, as their mother believe in, you must take off
the television, keep them away from video games, let them listen to
cassettes and CDs of your choice, because 90% of what they get from
the mass media is contrary to what you want to instill in them. In
my time at home, which has allowed for hundreds of hours of exposure
to the mass media at all hours of the day, I, unfortunately have
arrived at the same conclusion.
It is a fact that every single book I have read about parenting
written in the past fifteen years, be it of psychological or
religious background has devoted at least one chapter to the
negative effects of the mass media on the development of young
children especially their ability to differentiate between right and
wrong. Let me refer to a few statements: The late Pope John Paul II,
as quoted from the Papal Letter on Mass Media, when asked, “what is
affected by mass media?” he responded, ‘The foundation of
personality and conscience, the interpretation and structure of
affective relationships, the coming together of the educative and
formative phases, the elaboration and diffusion of cultural
phenomena, and the development of social, political and economic
life, just to name a few’.
Just the first part of that powerful statement alone, shows how
significant the mass media can be on the formative stages of our
children.
Let us focus on our little children for a while, from the ages of
18 months, when they are now learning to walk and talk, and are
observing everything you say and do. In the book How Children Learn,
by Holt it is stated that ‘Everything that we take in through our
five senses, remains in our subconscious and affects the decisions
we make in life,’ and believe it or not, once these messages enter,
they never leave.
Think for a while from this stage how the whole world is opening
up and yes, personality and conscience are being formed. Now think
of how much time this age group spends in front of the television.
Research has shown that the number of minutes per week that the
average child watches television is 1680 (The Complete Idiot’s guide
to Managing your Time; Davidson; 1998), and what the eyes and the
ears are absorbing, yes, the television utilizes two senses at the
same time so therefore it must be twice as effective (or should I
say defective).
Do we, as parents look at all the attitudes sent by these so
called ‘family’ shows on cable regarding children to parents (and
then wonder why our children are being so disrespectful? Do we take
note of the advertisements and the messages that they are imparting
and then wonder why our children cannot see that certain outfits
send the wrong message to the opposite sex? Do we recognize how many
morally wrong issues are brought to light and treated so casually
that young impressionable minds cannot recognize that that are in
fact wrong (and then wonder how come their consciences are not
better formed from what we, as parents, are showing and telling them
to be right and wrong?).
A key factor to remember here is that to young children, the
parent has placed them in front of the television, so in their
minds, the parents are condoning what is being shown, so if we are
going to make a significant impact we must be watching the shows
with our children with remote in hand ready, to switch stations, or
verbally combat what is being seen or heard, or the best
alternative, TURN IT OFF. We need to endeavour to involve our
children in alternative activities in the many art forms and/or
outdoor activities, we must also make a conscious effort to spent
more time talking to our children, to identify how their views and
opinions differ from ours, and re-establish family values and
morals. Did you know that in the U.S. on average, the number of
minutes per week that parents spend in meaningful conversation with
their children is 38.5 . (The Complete Idiot’s guide to Managing
your Time; Davidson; 1998),
PARENTS, we must wake up. MEDIA HOUSES, you need to start acting
responsibly. Think about this statement: ‘Parents used to be held
responsible by society to teach cultural values so that their
children would grow up respectful of cultural norms and mores. Now
culture has gotten so out of hand that we must protect our children
form these values,’ says Laura Kennedy, therapist and mother of
three in the book ‘Raising a son, Parents and the making of a
healthy man’ (Elium,1992). Absolutely true, all this reality T.V.
with the refrain ‘reflecting the society’ and we expect our society
to change for the better.
The violence in society, the lack of value for human dignity and
life is a reflection of what our culture has been bombarded with for
the past few years. The lack of sensitivity of our consciences, the
lack of desire to embrace correct morals and values, the inability
to see examples before us to emulate of the virtues of Fortitude,
Prudence, Responsibility, Chastity, Respect for others, Sincerity,
Modesty, Loyalty, Patience, Humility, Temperance, instead of the
vices of Faithlessness, Despair, Egoism, Immature Judgment,
Irresponsibility, Cowardice, Self-indulgence.
We need to acknowledge and answer truthfully what kind of
individuals; of what moral fibre and of what character are we
producing, as a society, when so many hours are being spent in the
presence of these contrary messages. Isn’t it also ironic that we,
as parents are being called to be so much more vigilant in our
censorship when there are many more two working parent families, and
single-parent families, who use the television as a baby-sitter
while we catch our breaths and switch into home-mode, to prepare
meals and tend to the daily routines of a home and family. Although
this fact does not exempt parents from this major responsibility, it
does bring to bear the greater role the mass media must play.
If the mass media in Trinidad and Tobago has not fully understood
their effect on society on the development of our children, they
should take a look at the summaries of two articles appearing in our
local papers last year from two cable stations. The first article
was from Nickelodeon. The station was toying with the idea over the
Summer holidays to switch off shows for two hours in the afternoon
and instead have the words “GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY’ written across the
screen. This idea was born out of concern for the epidemic of obese
young persons that are being cultivated in the United States of
America, and sought to act in a morally responsible manner, the
station was hoping that other stations would do the same. This I do
applaud them for. This idea however, upon closer inspection made me
rather concerned, for I believe that we, as parents are responsible
for sending these messages to our children, not the television
stations, but the reality is that the mass media is having a greater
influence upon our children than parents. To further emphasize this
point MTV had issued a statement, proudly acknowledging that they
have been responsible for the way young people speak, dress and
behave for the past decade or so and promise to continue this trend.
It was with great horror that I read these articles and hastened
to impart these messages to other concerned mothers about where our
children’s futures were headed, if we, as parents do not radically
change out laissez faire attitude towards what is entering our
children’s minds, and make our voices be heard.
We must recognize as a society that it is the responsibility of
everyone to effect change for the better, this particular issue of
censoring and controlling the effects of the mass media on our
children revolves around the actions of both the mass media and the
parents in our culture. we must all act with a sense of urgency,
because it almost seems that ‘The future of our nation can now lie
in that little remote control.’ How tragic!!!!!
Tonia is the mother of three boys and a subscriber to Parenting
Support Newsletter. She resides in Santa Cruz, Trinidad |
