When I ask you to listen to me and you start
giving advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you tell me
why I shouldn’t feel that way
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you
have to try to solve my problems,
you have failed me.
LISTEN! All I ask is for you to listen, not to
talk or do - just LISTEN.
When you do something for me that I can and
need to do myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness.
When you tell me that you have gone through a
similar experience
and you have coped and it will get better,
I feel guilty and inadequate because I cannot
cope as you did.
But when you accept, as a simple fact, that I
feel what I do feel, no matter how irrational or trivial, then I no
longer need to convince you of my feelings.
I can concentrate on trying to understand these
irrational, trivial feelings I have.
When that’s clear and the answers start to
become obvious to me,
I do not need advice because irrational and
trivial feelings begin to make sense
and when I start to understand them you can
help if you just listen to me.
Perhaps that why prayer works for some people,
because God is mute,
He doesn’t give advice or try to fix things;
He just listens and lets you work it out for
yourself.
So, please, LISTEN and just hear me,
and, if you want to say something, wait a while
for your turn.
Then I will listen.
